I want to say how sorry I am that I actively supported Donald Trump. Don’t get me wrong it is not for the attack on Capital Hill, nor his putting America first as each country should always concentrate on its citizens but there is room to grow as a caring country. I am sorry for agreeing with his immigration policies because if you cannot support those most in need what does that say about us?

I could not possibly understand what it felt like to be an immigrant, after all I was born in to a very prosperous country and have never had my freedom threatened. I can come and go as I please and nobody will interfere with my rights unless I have broken the law, and even then I still have the best of rights and can go home to my house when all finished with without the threat of being deported, and I can go to sleep at night knowing that I am safe, sound and a citizen of a country that has given me the best of everything with regards to personal choice and freedom because I was born here.

Immigrants do not.

Let me explain, I have been watching the Netflix series on illegal immigrants and there are two documentaries. They focus on both the immigrants and on the ICE agents and I sat horrified with my hands over my mouth at the pain and suffering these people have gone through.

I must admit at the end of the programme I felt that I was not a nice person to have just dismissed their pain and suffering so easy. That was due to my own ignorance and not anything they had done.

I watched fathers in tears at having been separated from their loved ones, Grandmothers who were at risk of the cartel being taken back to the country she escaped from with her granddaughter. This grandmother is a 63 year old lady who had gotten out because she refused to hand her granddaughter over to the cartel for “comfort”, and they put a death threat on her. The granddaughter was given a visa into the United States but the grandmother was deported back. What harm can a 63 year old grandmother who by the way checked out on every form needed to ensure that she was not a threat….what harm was she?

I know that ICE must do a job and some of the ICE workers I felt so sorry for as they know they are doing their job protecting the States, but you can see they were not happy at having to do this to families, but some must have ICE in their hearts to manage the people the way they did. I think there are an awful lot who need further training.

I know that some people would say that they are undocumented and I do agree that there needs to be a legal way in, but we are talking about people who have risked everything to get to the United States and there can be a 20 year wait to gain status, meanwhile they are at risk of being deported for the slightest mistake. Surely 20 years is too long and it needs to be made quicker and maybe so many more would do it the legal way.

The Arizona desert is the way in from Mexico and in the 80s there was 75 people on average a year who died in the desert, under Barack Obama and subsequently Donald Trump this has jumped to over 4000 and growing, and I watched a mother finally being told that the remains of her son had been found, some 10 years after he had disappeared on the way to her, and as a mother I think my heart broke just as much as hers as she was handed a box with his ashes. He was such a handsome and vibrant young man and as a mother to realise your son died alone and scared…..well I am not ashamed to say I cried.

I took a long look at myself in the mirror this morning and I did not like the cold hearted stone cold woman that was looking back. I could tell I was already changing when I read in the paper that more immigrants had tipped up on the British shores and when I saw families I decided not to do my usual rant as I do not know what they had gone through to get here, and we are talking children and families. I do however still think that boat loads of young men should not be allowed because as a former soldier my attitude is surely they should stay and fight for their land as so many of our young men did some 80 years ago. As fighting for your home from invaders is surely worth the risk? Maybe I am too much my father’s daughter in that aspect especially when he was fighting across Europe at 16…having lied about his age, but not everyone is a fighter I can admit that.

The thing that struck home was how these immigrants who are desperate to have a better life in the United States for their families are abused by those who have money and citizen status. There is a building firm that had employed over 100 immigrants to fix houses following a tornado, and then refused to pay them and not only that threatened them with ICE. This person is a commissioner for the district he lives in, and nobody has sought to ask why he has benefited from illegal immigrants, and even more disgustingly why he stole their wages. I felt like throwing my shoe at him via the TV as he sat there lording it over people in a meeting with an action group determined to help the immigrants to get their money, and the White American Commission shut them down the minute they mentioned the man’s company. This man’s smile at the end was hideous and I realised…my god was I in danger of turning into that….not caring about people and that is not who my mother brought up, and by doing that I was dishonouring my parents.

I know that you have to have a legal way into the States but dear god who is it benefitting by snatching pregnant women away from their children and deporting them? It has gotten to the point that some Sheriffs are refusing to work with ICE in this regard, and they are better people than I as they have done something about it.

I turned round to Mr Points of Sue and said…”honey, I don’t think Donald Trump has been a very nice man” especially when you see the suffering of others, and there was one picture of a father and his daughter who had drowned crossing the river to get to the United States, and prior to watching this I would not have been moved but to see the pain of the families left behind hit home. I thought what would I do if that was my sons or my daughter and her children? Mothers torn away from their children at birthday parties. It is heartless.

By the 5th episode I think I had lost all the stiff upper lip that we British are so good at and the tears were streaming, and I just sat shaking my head at the lack of humanity, and even some of the ICE men were saying they did not like what it had become.

I know I am privileged and not because BLM tell me its because I am white, but I am privileged because I live in a part of the world where I and my children and their children will never suffer from this. We have a system that will look after those who cannot work, and where housing is provided and where in effect you are cushioned from the cradle to the grave, and to see people who have had nothing risk everything just got to me.

I want to apologise to all those who I have offended by my lack of humanity. I still believe that the best way is to apply for a legal visa, but what good is it doing to drag a father away from his children, or a pregnant woman away from her family? It doesn’t and I am not a bleeding heart by any stretch of the imagination but something has to be done.

On one of the episodes a young man of 22 had been left in the desert of Arizona and had been beaten up and left to die by his guide, and to see him in tears because he had no water was so upsetting. A young border enforcement officer found him and he treated him with probably the first bit of respect this young man had had in a long time, and he was taken away by an ambulance. They need more good people like him to deal with this problem as manners, humanity and respect cost nothing.

By the way, this is not just a policy under Trump but it first came into being under Clinton, then Bush, then Obama and now Trump. No President looks good when you see the damage to families that this has caused. The people who enter the States want to work and want to make their life in the States work, sadly there are some immigrants who do not want to work and this is fuelling the rise of the Far Right …..The Western World need to have a policy that will help the immigrants even if it means giving them community jobs for their benefits payments, and this will help us to help them as increasing the financial burden on any population ensures the rise of those determined to stop it and it ends up with death and pain.

If you can support yourself then you are an asset or want to support yourself, and watching these programmes last night it hit me just how hard working the South Americans are and surely that is the greatest of assets. As they will pay more in taxes, which by the way they do and still have no rights and they will bring a much needed bonus to the state. I do not understand how they can be forced to pay taxes and have no rights. America is not the land of the free and every step of the way in the United States it costs you and it costs you a lot of money and that is sadly what these people do not have.

I don’t know what the solution is and I am not a politician but I suggest everyone watch the programmes “Undocumented” and “Immigration Nation” and tell me that you could get through it without crying, and then tell me that everything the way it is good and I will question whether you have a heart.

Maybe I have been wrong all along and I will be watching and hoping that Biden brings in a more friendly policy towards those who are so desperate.