Having had a long chat with my daughter I felt the need to write that nobody knows the lockdown date as we were both saying how much we needed to spend time together, and I need so much to spend time with the grandchildren as it is now getting daily that they are asking to come and see their nana and grandad. My youngest two are autistic and whilst they are the most amazing, super, clever little people on the planet….they just don’t understand why really. Although, to be fair my granddaughter has warned me she is coming to stay for 6 months….

My eldest grandson understands and knows that as soon as I can nana will be with him and his siblings, and we chat via WhatsApp and his hair….shockingly long and coming from a military family with his great grandparents and grandparents all ex army….must have that hair cut chat…..short, back and sides m’lad.

Anyway we were discussing how people are just breaking the lockdown again and again and it is upto them if they want to run the risk, but it is making those of us who are doing as asked sadder and sadder as we all know that itch that can’t be scratched now……the need to see our relatives, but I know it is causing my daughter some upset as she has to try and placate the children when they see it, but like me she is doing the right thing as she has responsibilities.

However, no one knows the date of the end as we are only now at the end of the beginning as Churchill would say and we need to be patient.

Although I was never the most patient in this world but the choice between staying in and knowing I will see them one day, or running the gauntlet and risk dying for a mere social call….is not really an option as you see my life does not belong to me, it belongs to my children and my grandchildren as I am simply their mum and nana and the simplest of joy is being with them and my ever beautiful granddaughter tells me I have to live till really old at least 150….

I know that the lockdown is beginning to grate on everyone and sometimes you don’t feel like getting out of bed, but trying to carry on as normal within our home allows us to beat the silent killer that is waiting for us. It also means that we are not putting those at risk who have no choice but to go out. Infact I left my cake with lashings of chocolate for the binmen this morning and “oh that will go lovely with a brew” response followed by a thumbs up….They are used to the box of chocolates at Christmas but this was special as it was made just for them to show them they are appreciated, as are all those who are keeping us going.

With that in mind do not throw away the clapping and the admiration we have for those who are protecting us by socialising, dropping in for tea or just sitting in the front having a party as that is not fair mentally on those of us who are doing as told, nor the worst of all fair on those who will have to look after you if you become unwell.

This is the beginning of the end and we will see a day when we can go out but today is not that day, and it might not even be tomorrow but it will be one day and we will be able to hug our relatives, kiss our grandchildren and say hello to our neighbours safe in the knowledge that we behaved as we should have……with consideration for others.